defining breath Untitled Document

heykarli:

My friends mom is 4’9 and her dad is 6’5. Whenever she is mad at him, she grabs a chair to yell in his face. Everytime that happens, he’s laughing too hard for her to stay mad. They say it’s the only way they’ve been married for so long.

(via most-yan)

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bursten:

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment

(via covocal)

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andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

(Source: grossr5, via most-yan)

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theimpolitecanadian:

when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh

(via most-yan)

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actualcannibalfeferipeixes:

mATH HOMEWORK???

THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM BOUGHT 60 WATERMELONS

(Source: punkgirltrainer, via orgasm)

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aquaticwonder:

Are you a piece of art because I’d like to nail you up against a wall

(via most-yan)

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aestheticbullshit:

PORTRAIT.

despookinator:

what if u could put ppl on vibrate like phones so instead of talking 2 u they would just shake

(Source: deluminator, via orgasm)

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